Pleasure is an art, and like any masterpiece, anticipating it is very thrilling. Think of that pause before your lover’s kiss, the moment their lips finally touch yours—electrifying, right?
The longing for pleasure deliberately kept from you and the mesmerising tension of the tease of the pinch of the nipple and doing nothing is the art of edging.
It’s not just about holding back; it’s about enjoying the build-up, savouring each electrifying moment towards a crescendo and, ultimately, climax. Imagine capturing that moment—the pause before a kiss—and stretching it, letting the anticipation and desire become a masterpiece.
Read on to learn more about how to master edging and gain mind-blowing pleasure.
What Is Edging?
Edging is the sexual practice of abruptly stopping the sexual stimulation of yourself or your partner to stop yourself from reaching orgasm to increase the duration of your sexual pleasure.
There are also other terms for it; surfing, peaking, teasing, gooning, and orgasm control.
Edging can done alone or with a partner.
You can also call it sensual mindfulness because, during this art, your senses are heightened, you are attentive to how the pleasure makes you feel, and you are constantly aware of everything around you.
In some cultures or religious settings, edging is a way to go into a hypnotic state, like a trance, to get more high spiritually.
The Daoists believe sexual pleasure is a means to cultivate their life force energy, the Qi, through the union of Yin and Yang. To them, sexual pleasure should be delayed and treated as a spiritual practice aimed at achieving longevity and a heightened consciousness.
The Taiosts practice tantric sex as a meditative sexual practice. It is a practice that combines sexuality, mindfulness, and spirituality.
How to Practice Edging: Key Techniques
Step 1: Create the right ambience for edging
Yes, you read that correctly. When we started this post, we mentioned that edging is an art that requires the right space to ensure explosive pleasures.
First, you need a place where you feel safe and comfortable enough to “be in the moment.” If you have to dim the lights, tell Alexa to play soft jazz or do something intentional, like lighting candles.
Step 2: Understand body limits and arousal level
Understanding your body is next after carefully setting the right mood for edging.
The body is a world wonder, and it cannot be overstudied. Rather than going from start to finish like a 100-meter race, taking the time to study your body’s sensitive points, what makes you go to the point of no return in no time, how and when can you hold yourself back from reaching orgasm?
All of these are important so as not to burn through pleasure land before truly cultivating that sexual energy.
Start Slowly: Take your time.
As we talked earlier, your body needs attention, and it is not just about masturbation. It is more about being mindful of your body.
To give your body the attention it needs, start with gentle stimulation, either with your hands or toys. Your body is yours to please to the fullest extent, but build it gradually, taking your time.
Slow it down
The edge is very tempting, and it is very easy just to want to let go and feel all the emotions and sensations course through your body because you deserve all the pleasures of this world in this world.
However, it is best to slow it down, reduce grip on your ready shaft, and switch intensity.
Start again
Once you have successfully pushed back yourself away from the edge, give yourself room for the arousal to lessen, then repeat the process as many times as you want.
Experiment with different tempos and rhythms to experience various sensations.
Building Intimacy through Communication and Edging
Intimacy and oneness thrive on communication, trust, and experiencing things together to deepen that connection.
When you approach this mindful practice with your partner, you create room for honesty about your desires, boundaries, and fetishes, improving your overall relationship.
Another thing you are exposed to is sharing vulnerability with your partner. Unburdening yourself can help you navigate the stress you carry on your shoulders. Take it off your shoulders and explore and celebrate your bodies together while you learn more about how her clitoris pushes hard against your thumb in response to your touch.
As a sophisticated practice on our bodies, it aligns perfectly with the discreet lifestyle.
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Here is how you can successfully edge with your partner:
Everything has to be beautiful, well thought and delicate. The first process is showing your lover you are ready to give it your full attention.
Next, find a way to dim the lights considerately to form a well-dimmed, sultry glow, and all you can see is the sexiness of your partner’s shadow glowing in the darkness like a secret lover.
The lighting of candles can help you with this ambience. The best way to go is with candles that have inviting scents—scents of desire like vanilla, amber, and musk. Through it all, let her warmth and shadow mirror yours sensually.
With the soft jazz or blues softly serenades in the background, your intimacy becomes a pure art masterpiece.
With the anticipation built from the dim light, trace her silky-supple skin using feather-weight touches with your fingers.
Make a trail of kisses on the back of her neck as you whisper promises of what is to come to build more intensity.
Always create an equal balance of giving and denying. Bring her to the edge with your strong hands. Spank her a little, and make it something to long for.
If you would like her to join in, assume a position of 69, and you will get pleasure as much as you receive. Make sure you communicate with your lover as you do this; you certainly don’t want to ejaculate too quickly before you both enjoy the joys of edging together.
As you are about to reach the edge, stop and let all the anticipation within consume both of you as you watch her eyes flutter wide open, and she moans softly with silent pleas. Right then, don’t start again; just kiss her, hold her, kiss her yet again, and then you can continue.
Edging should also help increase communication and playfulness as a couple, so make it playful.
To heighten every sensation and touch you give, use a blindfold. Talk to her, tease her with words, your words as much as you do with your touch, like: not yet, relax baby, let me please you. Let your voice caress her when you whisper into her ears, “You are mine, I want you to feel everything.” Use safe words to signify when you are near the edge.
This is a sensual ritual. You should learn to take it a moment at a time so that you let her revel in that exquisite agony of not giving it all. Repeat it continuously until you are both trembling with need, then surrender to the climax.
Let the pleasure drown you both as you let out a symphony of gasps and moans and raw ecstasy.
In the loud quietness after orgasm, hold each other close and lie in each other arms to remind yourself about the trust and passion you both share.
Sometimes, relationships go a long way before finding that spark, and when lovers experience edging together, that intimacy is rekindled.
If improving things in the bedroom, exploring deeper into your lover’s sexuality as well as yours, improving your sexual stamina and learning how to control orgasm, edging offers you a wealth of possibilities. But remember, the goal is as important as the journey, savour it, listen to your partner, talk to your partner too, it is very rewarding, and when you are done, new levels of pleasure will be unlocked.
If you fail at it on the first try, it is essential not to let it get to you. That means you have more time to explore yourselves. So, like we said, enjoy every moment.
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